The first Jewish lifecycle ritual that a family will experience is typically one connected to birth. As with all major occasions Judaism has sought to sanctify the occasion of birth and mark the bringing of a new child into the covenant with God with rituals and ceremonies. The ceremony to bring a boy into the covenant is called a Brit Milah, a covenant of circumcision. A bris, as it is often called, occurs on the 8th day of life, not beforehand, but it can be delayed if there are medical reasons to postpone. The ceremony includes prayers to welcome the child into the Jewish people, the circumcision, the formal announcing of the child’s Jewish or Hebrew name, and additional blessings. A bris is a very joyous occasion and is often concluded with a celebratory meal, also known as a se’udat mitzvah. The performance of the circumcision is actually an obligation on the boy’s father, but he typically appoints the mohel, ritual circumcisor, to do it for him. A doctor can serve as a mohel as long as he/she has gone through a training process to learn the particular requirements of ritual circumcision.

While the Brit Milah is a very old tradition in Judaism there has never been one formal ritual or ceremony for welcoming a baby girl into the Jewish people. Different communities in different times have used a variety of rituals, and many more have been updated or even created in recent decades as Judaism has become more egalitarian. The ceremony for a girl has no fixed time. Some parents have chosen to perform a ritual within a few days of birth, some on the 8th day to parallel the Brit Milah, some on the first Rosh Chodesh (new Hebrew month) since Rosh Chodesh is a holiday associated with women, some after the baby is a month old, some on the child’s first birthday, and some on a date that is simply convenient for friends and family to gather together. The ceremony can be as simple as the parents receiving an aliyah (being called to the Torah) where the rabbi or cantor will bless the couple and announce the child’s Jewish or Hebrew name. Or the ceremony can be as elaborate as a Brit Milah, with prayers to welcome the child into the covenant, a ritual act such as wrapping the baby in a tallit or prayer shawl, and a formal announcing of the child’s name.

Our goal at Temple Emanuel is to create a Bar/Bat Mitzvah program that is a spiritual and religious experience connecting child and family to God, and the Jewish people to each other.

Our Bar/Bat Mitzvah program is nurturing and caring. We will always strive to be gentle, kind, considerate, patient, and sensitive to our students and parents. We will create an environment that enhances the spiritual and religious experience of Bar/Bat Mitzvah.

Parental involvement is key to the success of our program and to the entire Bar/Bat Mitzvah experience. We will encourage and nurture the involvement of parents with students.

The regular and continuous involvement with student and parents affords the opportunity for relationship development. Long-lasting bonds will be created between student, parent and instructor during the course of each student's progress, which will continue for a lifetime.

Our children will achieve a very high level of excellence. They will do the very best that they are capable of doing. We will encourage each child to participate to the full extent of their ability. The better prepared our B'nai Mitzvah, the more positive the experience.

We will emphasize the religious and spiritual significance of Bar/Bat Mitzvah. We will connect the child to Judaism, family, Israel and the Jewish people.

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The marriage ceremony is a demonstration of two people’s pledging their exclusivity to one another. A Jewish marriage ceremony includes many different components. There are a few parts of the ritual which are required as well as many customs that have developed over the centuries.

Erusin (betrothal) and Nissu'in (marriage) are the required parts of the ceremony. First a Jewish couple must become betrothed which is done with the betrothal blessing and a blessing over wine. The marriage ceremony involves four parts: an exchange of something of value, typically a ring, a contract, the Ketubah, recitation of the seven wedding blessings (Sheva Brachot), and time spent alone (Yichud). A groom gives his bride a ring and declares, “With this ring you are consecrated to me as my wife according to the laws of Moses and the people Israel.” A bride can give her groom a ring, but it is not required by Jewish law. The Ketubah is typically signed by witnesses before the wedding ceremony begins, it is read during the ceremony and is then given by the groom to the bride. After the seven wedding blessings are recited and the ceremony concluded the couple spends a few minutes alone before joining their guests.

Many parts of the marriage ceremony that people are familiar with are customs that have developed over the centuries. Different Jewish communities have developed their own particular marriage customs, but some of the more common ones are:

Bedeken, which comes from German meaning to adorn, is the first glance that a groom would have of his bride on their wedding day if they had been separate beforehand. At the Bedeken the Ketubah would be signed, the groom would offer his bride a blessing, and the groom would put the veil over his bride’s face. Circling -A bride would circle her groom seven times before they enter the wedding canopy (Chuppah) as a way of showing his exclusivity to her. Chuppah, which is Hebrew for wedding canopy, is the place where the marriage ceremony takes place. Often times the covering is a tallit or prayer shawl , but it can be covered by anything. Often it is adorned with flowers. Breaking a glass -After the ceremony under the Chuppah is complete, but before the couple spends a few minutes alone, the groom will break a glass. There are many different explanations for this custom from scaring away demons to reminding us of the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem.

One of the most important interpersonal commandments that we have is the mitzvah of Bikur Cholim, visiting the sick. We are commanded to visit anyone who is ill in order to show them that they are loved, to revive their spirit, to show them that they are not alone, to keep them company, and to pray on their behalf. The Rabbis teach that God, in fact, demonstrates the importance of this mitzvah by modeling this behavior. After Abraham circumcises himself and is recovering from the surgery God visits him and performs the mitzvah of Bikur Cholim.

There are many laws and customs regarding visiting the sick. Some of the best practices derived from Jewish law and modern psychology are:

• Do not visit early in the morning or late at night.
• Call before you want to visit to make sure it is a convenient time to come over.
• Ask open ended questions which leave room for elaboration, such as, “How are you feeling, today ?” or “How have you been managing?”
• Do not stand over the person if they are laying down or sitting. Sit down next to them.
• Touch can be very soothing and comforting. Ask if they feel comfortable with you holding their hand.
• Make sure that your hands are clean so that you do not make them sicker.
• Pray with person in their presence and pray for them at other times as well. There are prayers for healing from the Bible and that the Rabbis have written, but you do not need to know these prayers to pray. Praying with or for someone can be done in any language. A prayer can be as simple as, “God please heal . . .” or “God please take away the pain from . . .”. If you feel compelled to pray in Hebrew you can always recite the Shema together.
• Always wash your hands or use a hand sanitizer upon leaving the room.

Mourning rituals in Judaism are extensive. Ritualized mourning has several purposes: it shows respect for the dead, comforts those left behind, helps prevent excessive mourning, and eventually helps the bereaved to return to normal life. Mourning is observed for 30 days after burial, very intensely so in the first seven days. Regular remembrances are performed in the years following the death.

Upon first hearing of the death of a close relative (parent, child, sibling or spouse), grief is traditionally expressed by tearing (k’riyah) one's clothing. The bereaved will wear the torn clothing through the first seven days of mourning. The relative then recites a blessing describing God as the true Judge.

During the period between death and burial (aninut), the primary responsibility of mourners is to care for the dead and prepare the body for burial. This duty takes precedence over all other commandments. The family is left alone to grieve during aninut ; calls or visits should not be made during this time.

After the burial, a relative or friend prepares the "meal of condolence," which traditionally consists of eggs (symbolizing life) and bread. This meal is for family only, but visitors may come to offer condolences afterwards.

The family then enters shiva (“seven”), a seven-day period of intense mourning. In traditional Jewish homes, mourners may choose to sit on low stools or the floor instead of chairs, do not wear leather shoes, shave or cut their hair, wear cosmetics, work, bathe, have sex, put on fresh clothing, or study Torah (except Torah related to mourning and grief). They wear the clothes they tore when they learned of the death or at the funeral. Mirrors in the house are covered. Prayer services are held where the shiva is held, with friends, neighbors and relatives making up the minyan (quorum of 10 for prayer).

Shiva is followed by sheloshim (“thirty”), which lasts until the 30^th day after burial. During this period, many who are bereaved do not attend parties or celebrations, do not shave or cut their hair, and do not listen to music.

The final period of formal mourning, avelut, lasts for 12 months from burial and is observed only for a parent. During avelut , mourners do not go to parties, the theater or concerts. The son of the deceased recites the Kaddish prayer every day for 11 months. (Why not 12? Traditionally, the soul must purify itself before going to the world to come, which takes up to 12 months for the most evil. To recite the Kaddish for 12 months could imply the parent was the type that would need that long, so the rabbis set the limit at 11 months.)

Interestingly, the mourner's Kaddish does not mention death. Rather, it praises God and asks for the establishment of God's kingdom. Its purpose is to reaffirm the faith of one who has lost a parent, a time when one is especially vulnerable to turning away from God. This in turn honors the deceased, since it demonstrates he or she has raised a child with faith that is strong enough to endure the death of a loved one.

After the first year, the anniversary of death or yahrzeit is remembered annually at the synagogue. The family members recite the Mourner's Kaddish and are called forward for an aliyah (blessing over the Torah), and a candle is lit that burns for 24 hours.